Me, my pump, and I

The time has come for me to turn in my pump, and it saddens me. Ever since I returned to work when Owen was 3 months old, pumping has become a vital part of my daily routine. In total, I have spent hours and hours alone with me, my pump, and I. Every day at 10 and 3, I'd grab my pump and equipment and head down to our lactation room on the 2nd floor. I feel very fortunate to have had this room in our building, as I know other people are not so lucky. I'd spend 20 minutes, two times a day in the quiet solitude of the lactation room. This was my time, when I could think or read magazines, or just "be." Between a busy job and 2 kids at home, quiet time set aside just for me is hard to come by. Giving this special time up will be difficult, and it will be weird getting used to my new pump-free routine. I decided fairly early on that I would try to pump and nurse Owen for a year. To be honest, I am very proud for making it this far. It is truly a commitment of both time and energy, and I'm so glad I have been able to do it for a full year. Now that I have reached the 1 year milestone, I have decided to continue nursing Owen in the mornings and evenings and sometimes at lunch. But the pump has to go. I have been renting a hospital grade pump since I returned to work at the cost of $60/month. I have also foregone the free parking lot at work and opted to pay $76/month to park directly cross the street from my office. I chose to do this in order to save the 10 minutes it takes to walk to and from the free parking lot, so that when I nursed Owen at lunch, I could just run across the street, hop in my car, and go right to his daycare. But I am giving up the expensive parking lot as well. I thought I would be able to stop my lunchtime visits when Owen turned 1, but the idea of not seeing his smiling face in the middle of the day is a lot harder on me emotionally than I anticipated, so I think I will still make it a priority to go and see him, at least 3 or 4 days a week. It will be nice to see my husband for lunch on the other day or two, since we used to meet every day at lunchtime and temporarily gave up our dates so that I could nurse Owen during that time. It's funny to think that in the early days, when Owen was just an infant, I wasn't quite sure how I would be able to nurse for any long period of time. Those days are just so tough, especially when your child wants to nurse all the time and won't take a bottle. It's definitely a challenge. But as time goes on, and it gets easier and easier, you start to wonder how you will stop nursing! I remember hearing Salma Hayek say something about nursing being like an addiction. And while I won't go that far, I can at least understand where she is coming from now. Breastfeeding has strengthened the bond between Owen and I, and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything in the world. I couldn't help but take a final picture of my pump so that I would never forget this piece of equipment that was such a big part of my life. Cost of paying to rent a pump and to park close to work for 9 months--$1,224. Being able to breastfeed my son for a year--PRICELESS!!